The Power of Words

September 4, 2009

Last night, something totally unusual happened to me. A total stranger blew me away with encouragement. I am still reeling, wondering how that was even possible.

Donalyn and I had agreed to have dinner and a visit with a former student that we hadn’t seen in 23 years. She is married and lives in Southern California. Her husband was busy with an evening meeting and would join us later. We reminisced and shared our journeys over the last 2 decades.

In college, I had been her professor and had spent quite a bit of time with her working through a number of very difficult personal issues (yes, I was her counselor). It appears by her story that God used our time together to give her hope and perspective when she was struggling to the point of life itself. Hope is a very good thing.

Why do I tell you this background? Well, picture with me what was going on in my head. I was her teacher, her counselor. She was the student. I had a goal. And last night, I had decided I was going to build into her life once more. I went there to bring words of encouragement. I went there to give hope…to help them.

That is NOT what happened. God had other plans.

No matter how intentional I was in trying to be there for them, affirm their journey, give wisdom and all, I repeatedly became the major recipient of untold nuggets and wisdom and mostly from a man I had never met before.

I am far more used to the caring role. I am in my zone when I am counseling. It’s me that repeatedly gives of myself to others (don’t think I’m looking for accolades either…it’s my life). But I give far easier than I receive.

It’s hard to take off the care-giving shoes and let someone care for me.

But boy, did it happen. He listened deep. He asked direct and even bold questions about the recent and difficult transition and deep hurdles I was working through because of it. He saw points where he could identify with me and shared his life and journey through similar hurdles in such an authentic and unflattering way. His openness and directness completely disarmed me.

This man knew my pain.

He verbalized what I was afraid to even admit to myself. He had been there and he gave me permission to be where I was at. He validated my journey and legitimized my inner turmoil in a way that was so freeing. No moralizing; no principles to try to get through it; not even any pep-talks about faith or God.

He said it was okay to be where I was at…that this was part of my journey.

And he listened more. But not just to me, though I felt so completely understood. He listened to the inner voice of God’s Spirit prompting him about me. God spoke to me through the words of this stranger with such riveting insights and refreshing grace.

The truth is…I could have sat with them all night, the peace was so pervasive. Perspective brought hope. Hope is real good.

Will you let someone care for you? There is power in words- words can convey truth that transforms.